Seeing Double

May12


There are two ways to look at everything.  Like dark and light.  Like black and white.  Positive or negative.  There are two ways to view every situation life throws your way.

People often ask me how I maintain such a positive attitude despite all I go through.  I tell them that first of all life is too short to spend being unhappy.  Besides… I have two choices.  I can be sick and miserable or I can be sick and happy.  The choice is mine.  And I chose to be sick and happy!

It’s a sort of double vision as I see it.  There are two ways to look at every situation.  And right now I literally am experiencing double vision.  I am also having extreme difficulty lifting and moving my left leg.

Yesterday I saw a neurologist here in the hospital.  (Yes I am STILL in the hospital – 21st consecutive day and 27th total day.)  And he thinks that one of two things is going on.  Either I have an ongoing chronic probably Autoimmune neurological disease causing this and my other neurological problems.  If this is the case it might be something like Multiple Sclerosis or something similar.  Otherwise I might have had a one time incident a few years ago when I couldn’t move either of my legs for a month that left me with permanent damage.  Either way the infections I’ve been fighting has been exacerbating my symptoms.

While we are trying to figure things out my neurologist gave me an eye patch so that my double vision is reduced by looking out of only one eye.  Now I can see more clearly.  And what I see is this…

I could curl up into a ball and cry about having another serious health problem – a health problem that is effecting not only my vision but my mobility and my cognitive abilities.  Or I can realize that I already have had this problem either way.  Now I’ll finally hopefully have a name to put to it and a way to treat it and make it better and easier to live with!

Looking like a pirate with my eye patch (ARRRRRR), I no longer have double vision.  My vision is clear (despite the fact that it is still a bit blurry even with my glasses).  So I can clearly see that I have a choice in how I view my situation.  And I chose to deal with it with strong faith that things with be okay somehow as long as I choose happiness every time!

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4 Comments to

“Seeing Double”

  1. On May 12th, 2010 at 7:16 pm Th. Says:

    .

    Good luck!

  2. On May 12th, 2010 at 8:11 pm Mela Says:

    big hugs from me, Lauren! I can’t imagine how much courage it takes for you every day to maintain such a positive attitude. I really hope they find out what’s going on and will be able to help you get better soon. And: your pirate look is really arrrrgh! :D

  3. On May 18th, 2010 at 7:24 am Grand Rounds: Edition 6.34 - Better Health Says:

    [...] Novel Patient shares thoughts on facing life’s difficulties and how to keep a positive attitude: Seeing Double. [...]

  4. On May 19th, 2010 at 7:36 am Bruce Says:

    [...] Novel Patient shares thoughts on facing life’s difficulties and how to keep a positive attitude: Seeing Double. [...]

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