I have a huge passion for scrapbooking!  I do it almost everyday.  I even do it from bed to conserve energy which is in short supply lately.  My caregiver Melissa is also obsessed withscrapbooking , so she helps me with the things I have trouble with.  Cutting straight when my tremor is bad or my the arthritis in my hands is acting up.  Not only doesscrapbooking give me something to do, it’s extremely therapeutic to exercise my creativity.  I’m also making something I will treasure forever.  It can be bittersweet looking back on times when I was healthier and just plain sadscrapbooking pictures from long hospitalizations, but its a part of my life and it’s good to remember.  The good and the bad and the in between.

[View with PicLens]

I spend a lot of time in my room being ill, so I also enjoy making items to decorate it with.  Over the last few days Melissa and I decoupaged my lapdesk I use to put my keyboard and mouse on while I work at my computer from bed.

Finally I enjoy painting.  I usually use watercolor-colored pencils because they are neat enough to do even from bed.  I like to paint things that symbolize my internal process.  It helps me process the experience of living with a chronic illness.  My often abstract and surrealistic art makes it more tangible.  I think this one I did earlier this week speaks for itself.

As I round out a total of TWO weeks spent in the hospital with this kidney infection nonsense, I thought I’d take a moment to share how I’ve kept myself from going insane with boredom.

1. My first line of defense is and will always be the computer/internet.  Chatting on IRC, AIM, gtalk, YIM, etc with my friends is the best way to spend hours and hours AND not feel lonely at the same time!  The best part is my friends live all over the world, so usually at least one of them is always available if I need to vent or just want to chat.

2. There is nothing like a good book.  Reading has always been a favorite past time of mine.  I’ve been immersed in the Dune series during this hospitalization.  Getting wrapped up in a good book lets me forget my own troubles for a while and be someone else and somewhere else.  When I finish Dune, I plan to read my first ebook on my iphone!

3. And now for some mindless entertainment… Computer games!  I love playing little free flash games especially of the point-and-click and escape variety found in vast quantities on sites like Jay Is Games and LazyLaces.  But I was feeling the need for something a little bit more hard core, so I installed Fable on my latptop and have been playing that when I’ve been bored.

4. Visitors are the best!  When you are in the hospital nothing can replace human contact.  It quickly becomes very lonely in those isolating hosptial rooms.  My mom, dad, sister, and caregiver Melissa have been here most days to keep me company.  Their presense has been a huge comfort and I am very grateful!  Also the hospital has volunteers who sometimes come around and talk to you.  I spent a half hour with a very nice volunteer the other day.  It was really nice to have someone new to talk to.

5. Yesterday Melissa lugged a TON of my scrapbooking stuff to the hospital so I could partake in my VERY favorite activity!  It’s so nice to be creative!  I was exhausted by the time I finished just two pages (even with lots of breaks), but it was well worth it!

6. Finally when I’m totally out of ANYTHING else to do, I can always write a blog entry… or heaven forbid work on my novel !

In other news, I was hoping to go home today, but it doesn’t look like I’ll have the IV antibiotics I need to recieve at home setup in time to go home today.  My doctor thinks I’ll at least be going home by Monday though!  Yay!

Laying here.  Trying to stave off boredom.  The IV goes drip drip drip.  Slow ironic poison.  Hopeful poison.  Poisoning my attacking immune system for a better future.

The oxygen tank hisses.  Keeping my headache and blue nails at bay.

The sterile pale blue walls are blemishless.  Except for a single nail with nothing hanging on it.

A scale resides in the corner.  In two months time I may be able to stand on it.  A novel thought.

Chatter and laughter and giggles have lapsed into silence.  My keyboard goes clack clack clack.  Strangely loud.

Sweat beads up on my forehead.  I shiver in my cold thoughts of what was, what is, and what will be.

This is my moment.

In an effort to stay constantly busy and stave off boredom (every Novel Patient’s ultimate enemy), I tend to take on a lot of projects.  And lately I think I may have taken on a few too many.  I tend to have a hard time finding that balance between bored and too busy.  Lately I’ve been tipping the scales towards the too busy side.  And then comes the stress which isn’t good for me.  Stress can make my diseases worse.  And I definitely don’t want that.

But being bored is a much worse evil.  My body may be sick but my brain doesn’t have to atrophy.  Nothing makes me more depressed than feeling like my mind is turning to mush.  That I am wasting my life.

So I’ve found ways to do something with my life despite being sick in bed most of the time.  The computer is a god send.

But my constant question is: how to find that balance and be just busy enough?